| Death of my livejournal |
[Jul. 16th, 2004|10:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  complacent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tiny Trendies - The sky is not crying | ] |
This journal died at 10:42 p.m., EDT, Friday, July 16th, 2004. In fact, it's deader than dead. It's positively ashen.
- this is the squire, signing off |
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| how very true |
[Jun. 22nd, 2004|12:20 pm] |
THIS WAY UP
á | | squireofdimness has fragile contents which may break! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 18th, 2004|05:45 pm] |
anyone goes out of their way to antagonize me, i'll say and do anything. you're a lucky fuckin duck you weren't here.
and by the way, who was the one who first threatened ("warned", actually) physical violence? do tell, donte.
- THE motherfuckin squire |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 18th, 2004|02:30 pm] |
i iz ali g. respec.
how large be an atom? is it smaller den a sand?
yes, much smaller.
so dey like a salt den innit? |
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| Mother Karma's not with me on this one, so |
[Jun. 7th, 2004|01:57 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  used/depressed/ | ] |
please comment, anonymously or otherwise, and berate me for my actions over the past few days.
I really fucking need to just be told off.
Seriously.
Thank you.
- the squire |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 31st, 2004|04:52 pm] |
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Happy Dead Guy day! yaaaaaaay |
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| We're just moving product here |
[Apr. 11th, 2004|05:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Underworld - MMMMMMMM skyscraper I love you | ] |
On Friday night, my dad got high (guess who smoked him out) and, in his stoned brew of regret and fuckerness, he decided to "trade" kids with my mom for the weekend. greaaaaat.
On Saturday afternoon, Ari came over. She looked like the biggest fuckin poser I've ever seen. Ever. This is a slightly overweight girl (you're a big fuckin fatass if you're not as skinny as me... skinnier and it's time for a force-feeding.... and don't worry, you WILL be one or the other) who, at last check idolized Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.
She is now listening to Nirvana, (still) mourning Kurt Cobain, wearing a spiked belt on dickies, and a fashionably insane long sleeved shirt.
"Isn't it kind of hot for long sleeves?"
"Aren't I a little fucking lunatic girl who cuts herself?"
"Yeah, you are. Now go to the bathroom so I can smoke this. AND DON'T TRY TO STEAL ANY WHILE I'M GONE."
"You were right. I AM going punk. And the stoner position in the family is already filled."
*ROLLS UP TO HIS MOTHER'S HOUSE AND UPON ARRIVAL DISINTEGRATES INTO HYSTERICAL, STONED LAUGHTER*
My mother, Tab and I go to TGIFriday's, or as my dad and I like to call it, "industrial strength dinner." My GOD everyone was staring at my stoned self!!! (Expect the masses to stare at you when your eyes are half closed and you're laughing your ass off over nothing, you half-brained pothead.)
CHICKEN FINGER BLT! mmmmmmmm chicken finger BLT I love you
Then, the Dania pier. Saw a manta-ray swimming underneath us. (They're HUGE!) Discovered that pelicans are really, really evil. Nice conversation about random crap with my dykes. Passed out from marijuana overabuse around 8. Woke up a bit before 2. Fell back asleep around 3. Woke up at 5.
I hate this house. Bad fuckin memories. Bad Jason from 3 years ago, BAD! But you will never meet anyone else who came home in a violently drunken rage at the age of 14. I wish that whole incident had been taped, it always sounded like a laugh. I also wish that I could remember it exactly myself. Amazing the way kids on chemicals are, AY?
- the (severely bored) squire |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 7th, 2004|07:44 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
There's a reason this is all happening at once. |
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| An entry for Lauren |
[Apr. 7th, 2004|06:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely/vengeful/destroyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Underworld - Born slippy | ] |
Why is it that every time I find someone interesting and decent, they are torn from me, or I am torn from them? It's like clockwork, ever since I was 6! London at age 6. Rob. Bevan. Myself. Then, you had to go too.
I'm listening to the song "Born Slippy" from the movie Trainspotting..... it's weird how I can't help but think of you and me both when I think about these lyrics, and I'm not sure why,
so I dedicate the following insane lyrics to our insane friendship, Lauren.
"Drive boy dog boy dirty numb angel boy
In the doorway boy she was a lipstick boy
She was a beautiful boy and tears boy
And all in your innerspace boy you had
Handgirls boy and steel boy you had
Chemicals boy I’ve grown so close to you
Boy and you just groan boy she said
Come over come over she smiled at you... boy."
Makes me cry a little. *cries a little*
So, Lauren. I have to get her back, you know. You know the way I am.
I was thinking, and this is just a thought.... she loves coke, right? I'd love to give her coke. I'd love to give her lots of coke. Lots. And lots. Of fucking. Coke. Everywhere. Coke in her locker. Coke on her body. Coke in her nose. It should flow like talcum powder, just for her. So much coke that she could use it as makeup if she wanted. God knows she deserves it, you know, for being such a good person and all.
"911, what is your emergency?"
"Chelsea Daniels is a cocaine dealer."
I REALLY want to go D.A. on her ass. That's 10 years, mandatory. She must be brought down. I must avenge you.... but maybe not in such a drastic way...
I don't know. I'm constantly miserable. I'm constantly furious. I'm distracted by countless sick fantasies of revenge on Chelsea. I'm smoking cigs at a rate that would scare you shitless. (50 a day.) More weed than usual too. I'll probably be drinking and stuffing shit up my nose again soon. Not sleeping well, even for me. Who gives a fuck anymore anyway.
So yeah, AJ is still a prick (who's coming back next month! great...), Coliseum still sucks but rocks at the same time.... somehow...... (I really have to look into how it does that), I'm still
viewed as a purely sexual object by all of those nasty clubfolk, my dad is still cool, the sky is still blue, I still need revenge, I still hate the government, I'm sure you don't care, I still tell you anyway, I still want to die, I still want to go to New York before I die, I still want everyone else to die, I still want to smoke, I still want the world, I still want you to come back....
Wow, this REALLY sucks. And to tell you the truth, I might actually be going even more crazy than I was before. I can feel the serotonin and the acetylcholine and the dopamine... plotting against me. I'm not hearing voices or seeing things, just thinking about very fucked-up thoughts that I can't guarantee I won't act on. Is self-mutilation fun? I want to do it now! Everyone else seems to love it... seems better than fucking! I think I'll do it just to do it! Just to make friends! Me and my sister and Michelle and Laura can be best cutting buds forever! *special Ed voice* Yaaayyyyy
And I want you to know that if you ever do come back...... which you probably won't.... I will be first at the gate.
Oh, and by the way, this just in: my favorite aunt has cancer. I'm seriously going to fuckin flip out VERY soon
- the (more destroyed by the minute) squire |
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| bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo |
[Mar. 26th, 2004|01:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | goldfrapp - lovely head/utopia | ] |
I like Alison Goldfrapp. She is insane.
I have to get my shirt from Lauren's.
I have to do my laundry.
I have to go out tonight.
I have to be snuck in.
It's cold out there!
But it's sunny.
And because of that, I must be off to tan.
- The Squire |
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squireofdimness's journal